You know it's funny. All the time us dogs hear our humans go on and on about how much we need to be trained. We hear them swapping stories with other humans on whatever mischief we happened to get into that day, or how gross the poop was that they had to pick up after us that particular morning. We dogs try our best to communicate with the humans. Sometimes they think they know what we are saying, and hey, sometimes they do.... they get it. But sometimes? Oh boy they couldn't be more wrong! I mean come on!!! Do you REALLY think we are happy with ourselves when you are telling the neighbors how gross our poop was, or that we must not be feeling well because our farts stink and all that nonsense? Sheesh! We have feelings too! We dogs can get embarrassed too!
This look as you can plainly see in my image to your left is the look I give my human when she talks about my personal potty life with other peeps. I think my furry face says it all? If you are a dog, (or even a cat for that matter!) and you are reading this, you know exactly what I am talking about!
Owning a human is hard work!
I mean really! We have to train them to wake up in the morning for work by licking their face. We have to train them to keep on schedule when it comes to feeding time. We have to train them to not forget when walk time is, we have to train them to get our treats for us when we ask for them.
So listen humans... I have a secret to share with you. On behalf of the pets of the world. When you "train" us to sit, or lay down. Really what is happening is the complete opposite of what you think. Let me put it in perspective for you. We sit, we get a yummy treat, right? Ok, so if you look at it this way: we have trained you to reach for that treat each time we sit. How it works is as follows - we figure out what it is you want from us, be it a sit command, shake a paw, whatever you choose to ask us to do. Now that we know what you want, we train you. If our looks aren't enough to make you reach for that treat bag, we simply give our best sit, or shake, and VOILA your hand goes to the treat bag, and we get what we want. Therefor, pets rule over all human kind.
Now, that being said... I wish to clarify a few things.
No, we are not out to rule the world and/or rule over all humans or anything ridiculous like that. No. We would simply like you to realize that hey, it is hard owning a human. Your kind can be stubborn, hard to train, and just downright frustrating sometimes. But above all else, we love you. We have nothing but unconditional love for all humans. We are happy to share our lives with you, and we do enjoy training you. One day, we will figure out a way to properly communicate with you, but in the meantime, we are thrilled that your kind is finally starting to learn how to read our body language. Now, could you please spread the word to those humans out there who choose not to read our body language? Appreciate it. ;)
That's it for now, thanks for listening.
- Yours Truly,
Lexus, the Siberian Husky.
How about you?
Do you have your humans trained?